New year, new resolutions

It's been almost exactly one year since I last updated, most of my posts having been on my main website instead of my personal journal. 2009 was a great year to wrap up and start a new leaf in my book. I graduated from college and entered my top choice for grad school. I finally know where my academic calling lies, at least enough to pursue a 5-year research career on it. I made new friends and generally grew more confident of who I am.

Last month, I was reminded of what true friendship really means. First, I had a conversation with one of my new friends who showed me a different definition of friendship than what I was used to. G invests her whole self in her closest friends, and has the expectation that friendship means that you will reciprocate this selfless giving. I am probably butchering her definition, and didn't actually think about it until I visited a dear high school friend last week. S and her family were excellent hosts and she took me on all sorts of adventures around her town. We had a great time, and I was humbled at how much giving there was that I felt bad I took so much, not knowing how to give back except to invite S to my city and offering to show her around. I can only hope to be as good as a host as she was.

We had a conversation about our other high school friends, and it occurred to me that I never saw friendship as something I have to work for. I always thought it was okay that people came and went in your life, that "life got in the way" is an excuse for not keeping in touch. I'm ashamed to say that I have become lazy in the upkeep of my own friendships, especially ones that I claimed to cherish so much from high school. It's not enough to just keep in touch electronically; I need to consciously invest in face-to-face interactions as well. It's easy to post on someone's Wall or write them an email, but how much more would it mean to them and to your friendship if you showed that you mean what you say by following up in person? Now of course, a lot of my friends are currently hundreds and thousands of miles away, so the best that I can do with these friendships is to keep in touch by writing and hope that we will meet again someday.

So one of my resolutions for the new year is to be a better friend. Keep in touch with old friends, and make an effort to continue growing these relationships. Visit friends whenever I can, especially when I am home. My life is considerably less full of love without them, and it's time to show them how much they mean to me.